Part 2 - Padawans

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Obi-Wan lay in his bunk, trying to hide his feelings from the other younglings in the Temple. He'd lost his last chance to be chosen as a Padawan, and Yoda had ordered him to the agricultural corps. He was a failure.

He heard the sound of his door opening, and the footsteps of bare feet on his floor as his best friend Traelyn appeared at his side, wrapped in a blanket.

"Obi-Wan?" she said softly. "Are you all right? I felt you crying."

"I wasn't crying, I'm too old for that," he replied with a sniffle. "Where were you after dinner? I couldn't find you anywhere."

"I'm restricted to my room again," she said glumly as she sat down on the floor beside the bed.

"Did you have another argument with Master Yoda?" he asked in dismay. "What was it this time?"

"You," she said. "I wanted to come to you and he wouldn't let me. He doesn't understand, I knew you were upset, I just wanted to help."

Obi-Wan gave a sigh. After many lectures about the dangers of attachment, Yoda had finally given up and forbidden the two younglings from being alone together. It wasn't fair, they complained, the other children were allowed to be friends. But there was something about Traelyn and Obi-Wan that disturbed the wizened old Master.

"In her room I do not wish to find you again, young Obi-Wan," Yoda had said. "Old enough you are to know why."

Obi-Wan had blushed with embarrassment. Yes, he had felt the urges of his budding manhood, but his love for Traelyn was not like that, it was pure, it was what he imagined having a little sister would be like. "Master, Traelyn is just a child, she is only ten. We are like family, and she needs me."

"The Jedi your family are. Learn to handle her feelings on her own, she must. A strong attachment you two have, against the code that is, and unwise. You are not to be alone together again. The same thing, tell her I will."

"I'm sorry, Obi-Wan. Perhaps if you were not my friend Master Yoda would like you better," she said sadly. "He is sending you away, isn't he?"

"I'm leaving the Temple tomorrow," he said. "But you know Master Yoda does not judge us according to how much he likes us."

"You always think the best of everyone, Obi-Wan. He wasn't even going to let us say good-bye. We may never see each other again."

"Yes, we will," Obi-Wan replied. "I'll be back here, you'll see."

Traelyn wrapped her blanket more tightly around her, and tucked her bare feet into the legs of her pajamas. "Or I'll be sent away, too, when I'm thirteen. I'll never get chosen as a Padawan."

"Master Qui-Gon might choose you," Obi-Wan said. "He likes you a lot."

"I thought he would choose you," she said. "But I heard him tell Yoda he won't take another Padawan. Something bad happened to his last one, but I don't know what. He says he's not ready for another."

"He's waiting for you." Obi-Wan slid over and pulled the blankets back. "Here, get under the covers, you must be freezing down there on the floor."

She slipped into the narrow bed and snuggled up next to Obi-Wan. "We'll get in trouble if we get caught here," she said.

"I can't get into any more trouble than I already am, and neither can you," he said with a wry chuckle.

"We'll find a way to be Jedi, Obi-Wan. Don't give up."

"I won't give up, but if we don't become Jedi by the time we're grown up, we'll get married, and live together."

"Okay,” she said innocently. “I think I'd like that." She turned over and they went to sleep, cuddled together back to back like baby gundarks in a nest.

* * *

For three days Traelyn hid in her room, and without Obi-Wan in the Temple, no one came to look for her. His absence was like a hole in her heart, and she sensed his distress across the long distance that separated them. She cried and slept, and cried some more.

Finally, on the fourth day, Qui-Gon went to Yoda. "Where is Traelyn?" he asked. "She missed dueling practice again. That's not like her at all. Is she ill?"

Yoda looked thoughtful for a moment, almost as if he hadn't noticed her absence until that moment. "I do not know, Qui-Gon. In her room, perhaps she is, or in one of her hiding places. Pouting, she is, no doubt, over young Obi-Wan's departure." Yoda turned back to his class.

Qui-Gon nodded and left. Master Yoda's callousness towards Traelyn was a thorn in his side, he did not understand it at all. Yoda was the fairest of all the masters, and his dislike of Traelyn was a mystery. It was almost as if he sensed something about her that he couldn't identify, and it frightened him.

Traelyn's room was dark, and Qui-Gon found her buried beneath the covers of her bunk. Hollow cheeked and with swollen red eyes, she looked as if she hadn't moved in days. There was a frightening lack of emotion about her, as if she'd shut herself off from the Force.

Wrapping her in a blanket, he carried her to the infirmary. Jeran, the Master Healer, took one look at her and immediately ordered intravenous fluids for her, and began to reach into her body and mind with touches of the Force, looking for the source of her illness.

"There's nothing physically wrong with her, Qui-Gon," Jeran said after he finished his examination. "Other than dehydration, and weakness from hunger. But her emotional state concerns me."

Traelyn opened her eyes and looked around the room, as if she didn't realize where she was. "Obi-Wan?" she whispered. "Master Qui-Gon?"

Qui-Gon took her by the hand. "Traelyn, what is it?"

"Obi-Wan's hurting!" she said. "I can't go to him to help." Tears ran down her face. Master Jeran placed a hand on her head, and soothed her with healing touches, and she went back to sleep. A puzzled look came over his face for a moment, and then a look of anger.

"This child is empathic!" he stated. "Why wasn't I told? Master Yoda should have noticed years ago!"

Qui-Gon looked shocked, and then turned away. "I should have known, too," he said quietly. "Her mother was empathic."

"Empathy and Force sensitivity together are very rare," Jeran said. "Is it possible her father was a Jedi?" He looked at Qui-Gon questioningly. "You brought her here as an infant, and you knew her mother. Is there something else you ought to tell me?"

"No one must know," Qui-Gon replied. "The council would not allow her to stay here if they knew. I cannot take her back to Locaria, her family doesn't want her, they're afraid of her. I will take her as my Padawan if necessary to protect her."

"I will take her," Jeran replied. "She will make a fine healer. We can put that empathy to good use. And I will keep your secret, old friend."

Qui-Gon sighed with relief. "She is bright enough for university, you know. If you were to take over her education, that is."

"I would have done that years ago, if I'd known. I will go before the council and arrange it. She will be safe with me."

* * *

Traelyn recovered quickly from her depression under Master Jeran's care. Although she was very young to be a Padawan, the Master Healer had gotten his own way with the Council, as he usually did when it came to matters they did not understand. Yoda even came to visit her in the infirmary, and his apology to her was genuine, and did much to thaw her heart towards the old master.

Master Jeran, although not empathic himself, learned ways to deal with her empathetic reactions to others, and began teaching her how to accept and embrace her feelings, and to follow them back to their source instead of hiding from them. After only two weeks she was able to help diagnose an illness in a baby who was too young to communicate, and this encouraged her towards learning the ways of Jedi healing.

After a month of recovery, she returned to her classes with the other younglings. On her first morning back, Digeeta, who had been her caregiver when she was young, came to her at breakfast and plaited her Padawan braid. The older woman had tears of pride in her eyes as Traelyn scampered off to her classes happier than she'd been since she was five.

The only flaw in her life was the absence of Obi-Wan, but he was out traveling the galaxy as Qui-Gon's apprentice, and his happiness and excitement did much to soothe Traelyn's loneliness.

* * *

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan returned to the Temple often, and the young people were able to visit with each other during these respites. Yoda still watched them with a wary eye, but said nothing, as each Padawan was now the responsibility of his or her own Master.

By the time Traelyn was 16, she had finished her basic education and excelled on her entrance examinations to Coruscant University's Medical College.

Then one day Obi-Wan came home from a mission with his emotions is turmoil. He'd become infatuated with another Padawan, and he was uncertain of his future. Traelyn listened to his story and patted his hand in sympathy, while a tendril of jealousy began to tickle the back of her consciousness.

"She wants us to go away together," he said.

"You are uncertain of your feelings, Obi-Wan, I can sense it. Be cautious you don't make any decisions in haste. Decisions that you may regret and that cannot be undone. You were meant to be a Jedi, I cannot see you as anything else."

"Neither can I, but I have these feelings..."

"Perhaps it's just lust. Have you been to a companion lately?"

Obi-Wan flushed deeply. "What do you know of companions?" he asked.

"Stars end, Obi-Wan, I'm studying medicine and the healing arts, you think I don't know anything about human sexuality?"

He composed himself. "I heard you were attending the University, aren't you awfully young for that?"

He still thinks of me as a child! She thought. "Yes, I am a lot younger than the other students, but they don't know that and they respect me because I'm Jedi. And you should respect my opinion, as your friend if nothing else. Give it much thought, and consult with Master Qui-Gon, he is very wise, you know. And very understanding."

* * *

The seed of jealousy in Traelyn grew and for three days her anger at Obi-Wan simmered just beneath the surface. She was irritable and short-tempered, and finding no physical cause for it, Master Jeran sent her to meditate. But she could only brood, and her anger frightened her. I can't do this, it's a path to the dark side. I have to fight it.

Ironically, it was Obi-Wan who pulled her back from the brink of the dark side, when she nearly took his head off in lightsaber practice. She attacked him relentlessly, her aggression fed by her anger, until she had him backed into a corner from which he could not escape. She held her blade against his, pushing him down and struggling to keep hold of her lightsaber.

"Traelyn, that's enough!" Master Qui-Gon shouted.

Obi-Wan gathered the Force around him and shoved her violently, and she landed ten feet away on her back, her lightsaber skittering across the floor to land at Qui-Gon's feet.

Stunned, she lay there as he towered over her, tucking her weapon into his own belt. "Go. Meditate. You may have this back when you get your anger under control."

She flushed with embarrassment, and fled the room before either of them could see her tears.

Later that night, Obi-Wan found her sitting near her favorite waterfall, her eyes closed as if meditating, but as he sat down beside her and held out her lightsaber, she spoke.

"I'm sorry, Obi-Wan," she said as took the weapon from him.

"Qui-Gon went to see your master," he told her.

"I expected that, I already told him what happened," she replied. "He sent me to meditate, too."

"That seems to be the masters' answer to everything," he said.

"Except Master Jeran is a healer, he has to check for brain damage first," she said humorlessly.

"You were so angry today, what's wrong?" he asked.

"I don't know," she lied. "But it was exhilarating to have all that power at my command. But then, I lost control, it had a hold on me."

"It's very dangerous to draw on the dark side like that, Traelyn. You've got to control your anger and let it go, can I help?"

She wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her forehead on her knees so he couldn't see her tears. "It's gone now," she said, truthfully. "When you shoved me away, the hold was broken, and the shock seems to have abated the anger."

"I'd do anything for you, you're my best friend," he said, worried.

"As I would for you, you know that, don't you?" she asked.

"Yes, I know, and you have. I've made my decision. You were right, you know. It was just physical attraction. I can deal with it, now that I know. Thank you for helping me."

"Get used to it," she said with a smile. "It's going to be my job."

She's grown up. He thought. I'm not sure I like that!

* * *

Three years later, Traelyn was nestled in Obi-Wan's arms in the light of the full moon of Alderaan. Gently she touched his face. "We'll get in trouble if we get caught here," she said, echoing her ten year-old self.

"Possibly," he said as he nuzzled her hair with his face. "But I have the feeling that the Force was with us tonight. It was incredible." He brushed the hair back from her face, letting the moonlight streaming in through the window shine in her sparkling blue eyes. "I love you, Traelyn. I have for as long as I can remember. You were right, we are attached, and nothing is going to change that."

"Pledge your heart to me and I will give you mine," she quoted an old love poem.

"I pledge my life, and nothing will ever part us." But then he kissed her gently and slipped out of bed.

"Don't go!" she said.

"I must, I'm sharing a room with Master Qui-Gon, what will he think if I'm not in my own bed?"

"Tell him you went for a walk in the moonlight."

"Traelyn, I'm not a very good liar, you know that."

"Well, you did walk back from the window after you opened the drapes, so it's true, from a certain point of view."

He grinned and slipped back into bed with her. "You are very wise... and funny. I’m going to remember that one!"