Thursday, December 10, 2009

And history was made...

[So who was worse off at the end of all this, Jar Jar or Qui-Gon? LOL
In the tune of "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer."]

Jar Jar got knocked over by a Jedi
Running from the droids beneath some trees
You can say there's no such thing as bad luck
But as for me and Qui-Gon, we believe.

He’d been banished from the city
Captain Tarpals told me so
‘Cause he smashed the Boss’s gasser
And the Boss got mad and told him just to go.

When the Jedi Master found him
As the Separatists attacked
Qui-Gon saved him from the droid tanks
By knocking Jar Jar flat onto his back.

Jar Jar got knocked over by a Jedi
Running from the droids beneath some trees
You can say there's no such thing as bad luck
But as for me and Qui-Gon, we believe.

Now were all so proud of Qui-Gon.
He's been taking this so well.
Sitting in there giving orders
And finding hyperdrives that they don’t sell.

It's not Star Wars without Jar Jar
All the fans are keeping track
But we just can't help but wonder:
Should we all go after George or give him slack?
(Give him slack!)

Jar Jar got knocked over by a Jedi
Running from the droids beneath some trees
You can say there's no such thing as bad luck
But as for me and Qui-Gon, we believe.

Now the Jedi are extinguished
And the Sith have reappeared
And some smoke comes from the Temple
That looks just like the color of Jar Jar’s ears.

I've warned all my friends and neighbors.
“Star Wars fans should be aware!”
You should never make a movie
With giant frogs and warlike teddy bears.

Jar Jar got knocked over by a Jedi
Running from the droids beneath some trees
You can say there's no such thing as bad luck
But as for me and Qui-Gon, we believe.

Monday, December 07, 2009

Dear Santa:

Last year I asked for a Jedi
To give me the best BFD
But when I woke up Life Day morning
There wasn’t one under the tree.

I realize there might’ve been conflicts
With intergalactic transport
So this year I’m making it easy for you
I’m terribly pleased to report.

I’m asking for something quite different
To ensure my BFD bliss
Yes, you’ll have to go backwards in time
But I’m sure you’ve done harder than this.

Santa, please bring me a pirate
With a black-masted ship to sail forth
And tri-corn cap and a rusted sword
And a compass that doesn’t point north.

With dark hair that falls to his shoulders
A tiny spyglass and a beard
And a tendency to run with his arms flung out
Scream, drink rum, and act weird.

You don’t have to bother to wrap him
Don’t bother with ribbons or bows
I’m not picky, I won’t ask,
As far as my pirate goes.

Santa, I’m really counting on you
More than you ever will know
Please make my BFD this year
And drink up me hearties, yo ho!

Sunday, December 06, 2009

I Saw Mina Kissing Lukey-boy!

[In the tune of I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus, this one's a tribute of a different kind. And the tributee (is that even a word? well, the person receiving the tribute...LOL) will have to forgive me, because this isn't an entirely original concept. But I've been told that I'm allowed to plagarize myself...LOL]

I saw Mina kissing Lukey-boy,
Underneath the misstle toe last night.
They didn't see me creep
With my stealth cam to have a peek
They both thought that I didn't know
What they do while I'm asleep.

Then I saw Mina tickle Lukey-boy,
Let me tell you, it was quite a sight
What a laugh it would've been
If Mara had only seen
Mina kising Lukey-boy that night!

A tribute to the best way to squander 20 bucks a month!

[In the tune of Jingle Bells, which is one of the hardest Christmas songs to parody, but the most awesome, if it turns out right...Which I'm surprised it did, considering where it was written!]

Smashing through the snow,
On an icy winter day.
Over the fields we go,
Fighting all the way!

Blaster rifles sing,
Setting trees alight.
What fun it is to kill and die,
With Galaxies all night!

Oh, Galaxies, Galaxies, I’m so glad you’re mine!
You’re my favorite Star Wars game,
Because you waste my time!

Galaxies, Galaxies, hope you never die!
But whenever TOR comes out,
I’ll have to say good-bye!