Dear Santa:

Last year I asked for a Jedi
To give me the best BFD
But when I woke up Life Day morning
There wasn’t one under the tree.

I realize there might’ve been conflicts
With intergalactic transport
So this year I’m making it easy for you
I’m terribly pleased to report.

I’m asking for something quite different
To ensure my BFD bliss
Yes, you’ll have to go backwards in time
But I’m sure you’ve done harder than this.

Santa, please bring me a pirate
With a black-masted ship to sail forth
And tri-corn cap and a rusted sword
And a compass that doesn’t point north.

With dark hair that falls to his shoulders
A tiny spyglass and a beard
And a tendency to run with his arms flung out
Scream, drink rum, and act weird.

You don’t have to bother to wrap him
Don’t bother with ribbons or bows
I’m not picky, I won’t ask,
As far as my pirate goes.

Santa, I’m really counting on you
More than you ever will know
Please make my BFD this year
And drink up me hearties, yo ho!