Saturday, March 17, 2007

ECHOES OF THE DEAD - ABRIDGED (PG)


ECHOES OF THE DEAD (EXCERPT)

Traelyn is a Jedi Master Healer who survived Order 66, living on Craltor’s Moon for 25 years. There she learned and refined the art of communing with the Jedi who have merged with the Force.

Finally, about 5 years ABY, Luke rescues her and brings her home to the Jedi Temple, where she undertakes a project to re-write the history of fall of the Republic by hearing and recording the stories of the dead.

EARLY EVENING, JEDI LIVING QUARTERS

Traelyn paced the sitting room of her apartment, her emotions in turmoil. She pulled the card marked “Anakin” from her data pad and flung it across the room to her desk.

Throwing the data pad against the wall, it bounced back towards her while she ignited her lightsaber. With lightening quick moves she sliced the hated object into four pieces before it hit the floor.

I don’t believe that was a purpose I had in mind when I helped you learn to use that saber, Traelyn, the voice of Qui-Gon Jinn said. To use it in anger is an insult to a weapon that has served you well.

Qui-Gon,” Traelyn said. “I haven’t seen you in a long time. Must you always haunt me at my worst moments?

You were always a special child to me, Traelyn. You have Obi-Wan and Luke to look after you now, so I don’t need to come around as often. But I worry sometimes that you forget you’re a Jedi. Your anger leads you to some very dark moments.

“How do you live with yourself, Master, knowing you brought Anakin Skywalker to us?”

Ah, but I am not living, my dear, and I’ve had a long time to think about it. e was the chosen one, after all.

“Chosen for the destruction of everything and everyone we knew,” she said.

Did he not destroy the Sith and bring balance to the Force? It just did not happen in the way we anticipated. That’s the problem with prophecies; they do not obey our commands.

“Oh, this is one of those Jedi ‘point-of-view’ philosophies, isn’t it?” Traelyn said caustically. "Well, Luke was the Chosen One, anyway. He turned Anakin back to the good side of the Force. That is what truly destroyed the Sith and brought the Force back into balance."

I’m sorry, Traelyn, but in time you may see it my way.

“Go away, Qui-Gon. I am not one of your favored younglings anymore. I’m as old as you. You cannot help me now.”

She walked to the balcony, watching the sunset with tears running down her face.

Traelyn? Obi-Wan appeared at her side. Tell me what it is, I can help you.

“Obi-Wan!” She held out her arms, and making himself as solid as could, he wrapped his arms around her. He pulled her over to a chair and they sat together, his presence surrounding her where his arms could not. “Did Qui-Gon send you?”

Yes, but he didn’t need to. Don’t you think I can sense your tears by now? What it is?

Aidriac. I found Aidriac in the Force today. He was lost, confused, frightened. He was calling for me to help him, he didn’t even know he was dead.”

Oh, Traelyn, I’m so sorry.

“I never told you how I found his body on board that Medstar. It was heartbreaking.”

That’s understandable. The loss of a Padawan

“…Is not something we should be discussing!” She said sharply.

There’s some truth to that, but you can tell me what you’re feeling. You know we can tell each other anything.

“He was a gifted healer, Obi-Wan, he was as good as I was and he was only 16. I had to tell him he was dead. Why didn’t he know? He was part of the Force; he should have been at peace.”

I don’t know, Traelyn. It could be that Aidriac wasn’t expecting to die at that moment. Not everyone enters the Force in the same way, which may be why you feel so much anger from some Jedi and serenity from others. You can’t judge them by me, I knew I was going to die, I was ready for it.

“I believe you welcomed it, didn’t you?” she asked.

Yes, in many ways I did.

“So, when you’re roaming about in the Force so you ever talk to your Padawan?” she asked.

Obi-Wan smiled. I don’t know if I’d describe what I do as ‘roaming about in the Force.’ In fact, I’m not sure I can describe it at all, not in terms you’d understand.

“And…” she waited for him to continue.

No, I don’t talk to Anakin much. I don’t talk to anyone very much. But I’ve made peace with myself over Anakin, and I think you should, too. There’s no denying that what he did was wrong, but I’ve felt his remorse. And, the past can’t be changed. You can only make sure it doesn’t happen again.

“I can’t, Obi-Wan, I can’t forgive him.” She leaned back against his shoulder.

You don’t have to forgive him, just accept what can’t be undone.

“Perhaps when I am finished with this project, when I’m done reading the stories I’ve written. But I have a feeling I’ll be teaching history for the rest of my life.”

Obi-Wan massaged her shoulders with Force energy. She started to relax a little bit.

You need a glass or two of wine, Traelyn.

“I don’t have any,” she sighed.

Where's your Felucian Brandy?

“I drank it all.”

It appears I should have come sooner. I have ways of making you relax, surely you remember, he chuckled.

“Obi-Wan,” she sighed.

Remember that night we spent together on Dantooine?

Traelyn sighed, her mind flooded with memories of Dantooine. They'd camped out beside a thermal waterfall, swimming naked in the warm water, splashing about like younglings. They'd made love beneath shooting stars, and in the silvery light of the two moons as they set just before dawn.

”You remember when I told you how you look to me?"

He nodded. "Well," she continued, "Right now you look just like you did on Dantooine."

So my spirit has no clothes on? Interesting…

“Obi-Wan, you’re better than wine, brandy and meditation combined. I love you.”

I know.

Traelyn smiled.

If only I could describe how alive you make me feel. But it’s something you won’t understand until you’re dead, my love.

THE NEXT DAY

"Hello, Luke, how was Yavin?" Traelyn asked.

"Hot," he replied, "and humid, as usual."

"And you wonder why I never go with you," she smiled.

"I brought you a new data pad from storage," he said, eyeing the pieces of the old one lying on her desk. "I thought you might be needing it."

"Oh, did you now? Well, thank you. Would you believe me if I said it was just lightsaber practice?"

Luke looked a little sheepish. "Master Obi-Wan asked me not to tell, but I can't seem to keep a secret from you."

Traelyn laughed. "Nor should you try! But I need to be truthful with you on something. I haven't been the best example of a Jedi Knight for you. I don't have my emotions under control. And if you've been talking to Obi-Wan, you already know that, but I thought you ought to hear it from me."

"You've been through a lot, even for a Jedi," Luke replied.

"Especially for a Jedi, I would say. The Force is supposed to bring us peace and acceptance. But I have a natural empathy that many Jedi don't have, that's why I became a healer. I don't think I would have been the council's first choice for this history project if they'd had anyone else to choose from."

"But you don't let your emotions control your actions," Luke said.

"Well, not usually," she replied, indicating her broken data pad. "Some wounds even the Force cannot heal."

"Luke, I want you to meet someone. He was a lot like you, a bit of a rebel with his own ideas about Jedi training. I think he can give you some good advice. I want you to talk to Qui-Gon Jinn. He was a good teacher to many of us, and he was Obi-Wan's Master. He often disagreed with the council about many of our ways, and I believe things should be different in the future." Traelyn smiled, "And he can tell you all about rescuing your mother and meeting your father for the first time."

"Will he contact me?" Luke asked.

"No, it's time you learned how to do that for yourself. I won't be around here forever, you know, I'm not getting any younger."

Luke chuckled. "I've seen you do battle, you fight like a youngster."

"Ha, you can say that because your youngsters haven't trained for very long. At my age I ought to be a master swordsman, but I didn't get a lot of practice living on Craltor's Moon. Well, I hunted for survival, but the food never fought back."

Just then Luke's commlink beeped, it was Princess Leia.

"I have to go," Luke said. "When I come back, will you teach me to contact Master Qui-Gon?"

"Yes, as long as you tell him I'm sorry about yesterday," she smiled.

"Well, Obi-Wan," Traelyn said after Luke had left. "Speak up, I know you're listening."

No, I'm not, he said with a chuckle. You handled that well, Traelyn. Luke was starting to think all of us old Jedi were perfect, and that's a dangerous idea for him to have.

"Qui-Gon can help him. He always thought we should have been allowed to develop into the Jedi we could be, not locked into a mold the council had set for us. I know you disagreed with him, so it's good for Luke to have multiple ideas to draw on."

I was far too inflexible in my youth. I was quite a trial for Qui-Gon, but I learned a lot from Anakin. And from you, and from the war.

"If only we could be as smart in our youth as we think we are," she said.

Wisdom is wasted on the old... and the dead.

"Well, I'm finished with my interviews, except for one," she said. "Yours."

Me? You talk to me all the time!

"I don't mean pillow talk, Obi-Wan! I need your story, and without your usual modesty. You left for Utapau to find General Grievous and I never saw you alive again…”

Well, I killed him, and then the clones tried to kill me.

"…And you escaped and made it back here with Master Yoda, and you fought with Anakin and you saved Luke and Leia... there's a lot of detail you're leaving out."

Obi-Wan sighed. All right, Traelyn, I will tell you. Just don't try to make me a hero.

“I think history will be the judge of that.”

THE END

Note: The entire epic is now posted at Granny-Wan's Fan Fiction. Be warned, it is rated R for sexual content.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I like the abridgement, you did very well, in trimming down the story.

I can't do that, my stories grow and grow and grow....

Robin Parker said...

I can't do that, my stories grow and grow and grow....

Honey, you need to read the whole thing...LMAO.

You know I love this whole EPIC, Granny.

I think what I'm going to love the most about this fanfic is seeing everyone's personality come out in their stories.

Love it, love it, Granny. :)

Robin Parker said...

And, I agree, LUKE is the Chosen One.


MMMMUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWHHHH

leialookalike1 said...

yes, you sarcastic personality does come out...
I like the abridged version mostly because it was less graphic...for me...

GoKnight said...

GW! Nice abridgement -- it must've been difficult!

Where do I begin with what I like about this?

- well-developed story line (especially if you've read the whole thing!)
- very "Star Wars" appropriate dialogue -- characters "sound" as they should -- they have the proper voices
- excellent grammar & writing style
- well-developed Star Wars imagery -- you feel as if you're in the correct place & time
- great topic: I love how she struggles with the deaths of the padawans & with "correcting" the history records
- As I mentioned in DF's fanfic comments -- I think it's very interesting to bring up the concept of sex as it relates to the Force - a uniting act with the Jedi & a twisted perversion with Sith. I wonder how it plays in with the concept of "attachment," though? Hmmmm. . .

Granny, I love this and it has to have my vote (and not b/c of the Obi Wan stuff or the sex stuff -- you could take that all away and it's still be my pick).

Wow!